I hate that word … Insecurity.
It comes in waves for me. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes it overwhelms me and I allow it to stop me in my tracks. Sometimes I’m able to put it aside and do what I need to do. Some days it attacks me in my parenting. Some days it overtakes me in my marriage or my body image. These days, it hits me most in creating Sincerely Christi and the content.
This is hard. And I’m not talking about all the technical and marketing stuff either. Yes, that all brings on its own complications, but I’m talking about the follow through in writing what I feel the Lord is leading me to write. The vulnerability. You know, it’s the part about putting myself out there in the great big internet world stuff. It’s the sharing of content. That’s really hard for me to push that “publish” button.
Do you know why it’s also hard? I’m anticipating that at some point I’m going to get that hate=filled comment. Yep. There it is. Insecurity. See what I mean? It’s hard. Of course, I knew it would be. That’s one of the many reasons that I ignored God’s prompting (yes … I ignored it). Insecurity stopped me and I allowed it.
Most days, the “I-word” just pricks me. It nags at me. My thoughts …
Are you sure you should have handled that the right way?
Do you even know what you’re talking about?
Are you really going to put that out there? How are you going to handle it when someone disagrees with you?
Then there are the comparisons.
They have it together so much better than you.
Their writing is amazing!
Look at all the engagement on their website!
Their Pinterest pins are beautiful and that one has been pinned 2,500 times?
Oh and it goes on. And on. Then some more. Just nagging at me.
Am I battling insecurity right now? No. Not now.
Twenty minutes ago though? Yes.
Ugh! I hate to even admit it. It’s painful to write it. And guess what? It’s going to be even more painful to post it!!! But I’m going to do it.
So here is what I do when Insecurity is knocking at my door.
I Acknowledge it!
So … what do I do about it? I acknowledge it as a battle. I recognize whatever thoughts of insecurity I’m having and go to battle.
Is this a lifelong message I have carried with me?
Often times, my insecurities stem from my childhood or teenage years. Somewhere along the way, whether overtly or covertly, I received some of these messages from the world around me. There are many avenues from which to receive these notions, messages, and ideas such as parents, siblings, friends, teachers, life experiences such as bullying, abuse, etc.
Ask yourself what these thoughts remind you of. Write the memories down. It will help you to connect the dots and potentially help you to make sense of the here and now, due to circumstances with the origin.
Just a little side note, if thinking on these things are very challenging and bring up some very big emotions in you, consider reaching out to a counselor in your area that is equipped to help you navigate those feelings.
Focus on Truth!
I immediately re-affirm what I know is truth.
Yes, truth. God prompted me to create Sincerely Christi and therefore He’s given me everything I need and as long as I’m seeking Him, it will accomplish His purpose … not mine. I recognize the way I measure success and the way He measures success are in vastly different worlds. Afterall, this is my growth process in action!
Truth. I pray daily. I have memorized scripture across my lifetime. Ask God to bring His truths to your remembrance.
Truth. Most often in my life, I do the best I can with what I know. Recognize I have given my best efforts in the situation.
Truth. I’m the daughter of a King, the Creator of the Universe! It really doesn’t matter what other people think about me. He ADORES me! I’m His daughter. ❤ I remember to go to Him for my value and worth.
Truth. Beauty standards are extreme and superficial in our society, and I’m not just saying that because I struggle in that area. Haha! It’s truth. As a society, we are trained from an early age to acclimate to the pretty people, and the ones who dress the best. We are taught that different isn’t good. We are taught that in order to gain attention from others we have to be amazingly beautiful and put together well. To be anything different is weird and often captures negative attention. Look at the crisis of bullying and suicide today. In all honesty, we are all weird in our own way. My outward appearance is only a piece of the puzzle of who I am, not the whole of who I am.
Truth. I’m battling thyroid and adrenal disorders. My health has vastly improved over the last 3 years because I work on it daily. I have found natural supplements and vitamins that help me feel better, and I try to make better decisions on what I’m eating. I drink water, a lot of water, every day. I try to get my steps in daily.
Truth. The people I compare myself to have seemingly have it all together. But … I’m smart enough to know that everyone has their own problems and struggles.
Truth. The bloggers that are getting all of the thousands of pins, have likely been circulating Pinterest for a while. They have been in the blogging world much longer than I have. They have gone through all the growing pains of learning what to do and how to do it. Reality check. I’m still learning. I’m still tweaking my website and improving my pictures, and blog posts, and adding valuable content. My pins have been up a few weeks. Yes, this is truth … I’m still learning.
Get my point???? Respond with truth. Respond with reality.
Push fear aside and DO IT ANYWAY!
Go ahead and push the fear out of the way and do it. I know. That’s just crazy talk. If you don’t know how to do the thing, learn how! I will not ever let a lack of knowledge stop me from pursuing something I feel God is prompting me to do. We live in an age where knowledge is incredibly accessible. It is, literally, at our fingertips! You are using that device to read this blog post! The Bible tells us that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. What better way to accomplish his goal than by stopping us dead in our tracks as we attempt to live out our destiny? Fear versus Faith, in action.
Oh but what if I fail???
Oh but what if you don’t??
You’ll never know unless you try.
How many times have you heard those sayings? They are truth.
Let these words from 2 Peter 1:3-10 sink in …
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.
One final thought … Coping with insecurity in relationships
Another big uphill battle is often an insecurity in relationships with others. Finding safe relationship attachment is an entirely different blog post, which I will write about another day because it’s such a giant topic. I will give you a nugget of help in this area though. When I feel insecure in my relationship, it’s a reminder to me that the only one who I will ever find that security in is God. He is the only one who can love me the way I need to be loved, care for me the way, I need to be cared for, and never, ever, ever let me down or hurt me. There are some strategies you can use when coping with insecurity in relationships, but by far, the most secure attachment I can find is God. He will never leave me or forsake me. This is what I know from my own experience.
If Insecurity is a battle of yours, then you will definitely want to read some of these books below. They are all highly recommended reading!
***Below are affiliate links, which means when you click on a book, the link will take you to Amazon where you can read about the book, the reviews, and if you make a purchase using any of the links, I will make a little money. However your price remains the same and I only promote products that I (personally) highly recommend. See my full disclosure here.
Just a little something to ponder …
The truth is that no matter where you are in your life, your walk with God, life struggles, marriage, family life, career, and even insecurities … you have been given EVERYTHING you need to accomplish God’s will on this great big Earth. In those places where you don’t feel that you have the knowledge, pay special attention to what God’s Word says about that here in verse 2 Peter 1:5 …
… make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Do you know what that’s called? Growing. It’s a lifelong process. I’ll get there if I keep working. You’ll get there if you keep working. Don’t give up. When we give up, Satan wins.