Releasing Your Grown Child to God

Let Go and Let God.

The saying goes “Let go and Let God” and I’m not sure I have mastered that skill yet, especially when it comes to releasing my grown children to fly on their own. Although, I’m trying to be thankful despite my worries and despite my grief in this particular life transition.

So, what is there to be thankful for when I’m grieving over life transitions, bad decisions, or unimaginable loss?

Personally, I am thankful that first and foremost, I have found the Savior, creator, and God of the Universe, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me. I am thankful that I was able to raise my kids under the Lord’s umbrella and that they have found Him too.

Releasing a grown child from our protection is not easy.

Admittedly, like most people, they take their eyes off of Him when they are surrounded by distractions and other influences but because they were rooted in Him, I have faith to know that they will always find their way back to Him at some point if they will look.

Out of all of the parenting years, I was probably least prepared for the launching phase. The difficulty of releasing my kids into adulthood was not on my radar. I always thought the teenage years were the toughest, and while they weren’t a breeze, I had no idea what was coming in the early adult years.

At the time I’m writing this, my oldest daughter is 21, my son is 24, and I’m being totally honest with you when I say that I have not mastered Let Go and Let God, but I’m trying. It’s very hard for this momma.

Recently, I was perusing through my oldest daughter’s Facebook pictures and found this one post that she posted six years ago. It was a picture of the two of them right after his graduation ceremony from high school. He was sitting on the floor and she had her back leaned up against his side. She had edited the photo so that it looked old and tattered and it was now black and white. She wrote, “It’ll be so different without him.” This photo was posted while she was thinking about him leaving for Air Force basic soon after. Change is hard for all of us.

My son going to basic training was such a bittersweet time. Such a HUGE transition for ALL of us.

As his mom, I cried myself to sleep for about a few weeks after he was gone. I missed him so much when he left home and didn’t know when I would hear from him, but I was not sure how this smart, sweet, beautiful girl of mine was going to cope. Growing up, they were always very close. She was practically his shadow, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Everything he did, she did.

I can say that she has grown leaps and bounds in the last 6 years since he left home. She is definitely not the same teenage girl she was when he left home. She has had her share of hard times, heartaches, bad choices, good choices, ups, downs, and everything in between.

And yes, her daddy and I went on the rollercoaster too and have the t-shirt. Ha! No, not really.

BUT…

She is smarter, sweeter, more caring, more independent, more confident, and more beautiful today than that day back in 2012.

She has found comfort in the Comforter, Himself. Yes, when she strays from Him, she hears Him calling to her, and she can’t resist His call. Eventually, in her own time and in her own will, she comes back. I have seen it with my own eyes. I have heard the regret in her acknowledgments when she chooses her own path above His.

I have seen her actively seeking Him.

And in this, I can be assured that no matter the struggle, she knows who to go to. No matter where her life takes her, He will always have her heart.

I can say the same for my son too. Since he left home back in 2012, he has grown by leaps and bounds. The last six years have had plenty of ups and downs and they have changed him in ways none of us ever saw coming. His experiences have challenged him, and yes, even hurt him at times.

This, in turn, will eventually mature him and his faith in God. I am confident of that.

This momma has no doubts, even though, I have had moments of weakness when the Holy Spirit has to remind me, once again… Let go and let God.

God is in control.

My son will be okay.

The reality is that releasing my son and watching him experience life and heartache with 1400 miles between us (and sometimes over 7000 miles), has been very difficult. However, I know that the ups and downs are part of growing us ALL up, and they are opportunities for not just him, but for me too.

I get a front-row seat to the transition and growth.

I get a front-row seat to his character development. I may not like what I see at the moment, but Momma, let me tell you that I usually like what it produces.

Good fruits. Precious Fruits. 

Just a reminder, that fruit is always the last thing produced on a fruit tree. Let it grow.

With all that my son has experienced in the last six years, I can see his faithfulness, optimism, and perseverance shining through no matter what is coming against him. He has his roots planted and whatever he faces, he does not give up because of WHO lives inside of Him.

Yes.

God is growing Him up too, and the growth process is not always fun.

As a mom, watching my kids enter their adult lives, I have blasted God with my fair share of questions. My kids may tell you I blast them with questions a lot too! And they would not be wrong. I will admit it.

I also have to be transparent and admit that at times of uncertainty, I felt like I was pulling my hair out screaming through the distance, “Nooooo! Don’t go that way! Go this way instead! This is the better choice! What are you doing? Have you lost your mind???” and a multitude of other things that I will refrain from putting in this post.

But they were their lessons to learn. And believe me when I say, I know they will get it.

So yes, I am thankful for life transitions, for allowing us the free will to make the mistakes, the learning process, the hard times, and even the struggles. Certainly NOT because of the pain, but because of the new growth it promotes, if we allow it to.

I’m also thankful because more times than not, it calls my attention to how I have turned my eyes away from Him, and it always leads me right back to where I belong, at the feet of Jesus.

Six years ago, when I looked at my daughter’s social media post, there was a lot of sadness and worry for both of my kids.

Today, there is thankfulness, because I get to be a part of their process and recognize that it was part of my process too.

Sincerely, Christi